Change is a peculiar thing as it can create the most beautifulest thing such as the change is seasons from winter to summer, and create the most darkest thing in existence, A Death. Regarding your point of view it can alter your perception positively or negatively as everyone is an individual with a different view on life and their surroundings, love it or hate it, it will seize to exist no matter the outcome of your decision onto doing something.
Now to shed a light about my opening I have to open up myself a little in this blog as much as i hate to but i have too. Depending on what time you are reading this, Good Morning, Good Afternoon and Good Evening, my name is Syed Alif Al-Attas and this is my blog entry on my journey on the subject Community Service Initiative. Reflecting back on my past till the present day I have seen, learnt and experienced a lot of things. Some are beautiful, most were painful. I remember once being an optimistic child with a smile stretch across my face that I could resemble The Joker (Batman), i'm kidding... I don't have green hair. Life never seem to bother me at that age but then again it didn't for normal kids as we never had encounter tragedy that would scar us for life. But as time proceed, that smile I use to have became more of a facade as I put it on my face rather then truly feeling "optimistic", like a war-torn veteran would say " Kid, you haven't seen the things I have seen", with time comes realization of what that statement meant. It is scary and sad to see how change can invoke a person from being happy to being depressed and with that very statement I just type, I can relate to depression as it was a really negative phase in my life and tough to shake of as it seems to come and strike my thoughts and emotions at any given time at the most least expected time and it genuinely sucks because who the hell loves being depressed?
Away from that dark subject lets move on for a moment, Now in my 5th semester I with a group of friends have to tackle the subject Community Service Initiative and from the looks of it in our 6th week into it, we are technically prepared for it. Now, our group agreed upon going to an orphanage for our C.S.I assessment and walking through broken glass, Andre managed to get us a placement in Rumah Juara and once again Andre, good job on doing it. Now as the ophanage name states... Rumah Juara, lets translate it even though most of us know what It means but hey i want more words in my blog, Rumah Juara means House of Champions. As we all got to spend time with these kids and really got to know most of them, from what I see in them. They deserve that title. Beautiful and Strong kids we got to spend time with and every single one of them are unique in their own way. When I was a teen, I would often help my cousins and aunties help take care of their kids because they were really tired from taking care of them and hey, I love kids. So it became nature when I had to spend time with these "Juara". It was controlled chaos with them but I loved every moment with that and I felt fortunate enough to spend time with them as it was truly a great experience being with them and surprisingly thought me something I forgot, Happiness.
With apologies, back to the dark segment of this blog entry. I have seen pain and suffering from various means such as a death in a family to tragic story of homeless people in the streets of KL or Subang Jaya and it doesn't matter where the source of the story comes from but the pain it leaves behind and how it cripples anyone who can understand that type of feelings brings such burden to the soul. Growing up, hearing and seeing these stories being brought just made me more darker and less of a person and more towards of an asshole everyday. I won't deny the fact that I know I am an asshole but for some people, it a sad way to disguise their emotions and they are right it is and some times it can't be help as it becomes a part of you. Words such as hope and miracle becomes the fuel of your rage and it disgust you to the brink of self-destruction and having the means to escape anything relevant with it. In my view point life is a baron wasteland of darkness that will slowly end with armageddon of humanity. I'm looking at you Donald Drumpf. Life has become a negative backlash for me to the point some times I wish I wasn't born because it hurts living and it's hard to get by and to find a purpose for you to look forward to tomorrow. Example, I ain't looking forward for the Accounting mid-term, I ain't looking forward to sleeping, I ain't looking forward to a future that I fear that I could possibly fail. But then again, those are examples. Or are they? Sorry for sidetracking, what is meant here is that i'm a sad sad child with a poor of an excuse of an existence and branded as a joke towards those who are close to me and that's how I can reflect my life nearly every night before I sleep, well try too. And damn this getting dark, but I hate being me.
The title of this blog entry is called Blessing in Disguise. These child reminded me of what I use to feel. Happiness, Joy, Hope, and lastly, Love. When going to a orphanage, most people the back story of the children. Abandonment, domestic abuse, teenage pregnancy and more. All these children share a tragic backstory and it hurts thinking about it. I remember as our group were driving towards the orphanage and all I can think of is the tragic stories and some friends even ponder whats their story. Way to start my first trip to an orphanage huh? But when we got inside, I saw these little munchkins with smiles on their faces bright as day. Cheerful voices and with overwhelming excitement to see us university students coming in to spend time with them. It was a beautiful sight to see and the best thing about all these kids were the genuinity in this kids was their sense of gratitude of us spending time with them regardless if were helping them color the papers or teaching them origami. It was true happiness and I forgot what that felt like. Comparing my background to theirs, I ain't got nothing in these kids, besides asthma thought, damn you genetics. Despite of that they can still smile like what I could when I was a little Joker and it was truly awe inspiring and faithful for me. These a wonderful bunch of kids, Juara's and applaud their courage for being who they are. They have potential to be great people in the future I am glad to for them and can't wait for them to achieve greatness regardless of their background.
I won't forget these kids because they brought a sense of value back into my life, they might not know it but they were my blessing's in disguise and brought some light into the darkness i've been living it and it is good to feel something after a long time. I'm grateful to have this experience and to spend time with these little "Juara's". I can say I sleep a little better with them in my memory. I would like to thank them for "awakening" me and teach me something I once knew. They were more of a teacher to me rather than I was to them, I thought them how to make a fox origami. They thought me to smile and feel. A rare instance in my life but truly a great memory to never forget.
Thank you for reading this blog entry and once again with a abundance of apologies for the negative part of the blog, just opening up as Ms. Sharon told us too. So yeah. Good morning, Good afternoon and Good Night to you.
- Syed Alif
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